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Of course, men have mental health issues. I would be surprised if they didn't. The power and advantage they are so used to are diminishing by the day. Read yesterday's article Part I.
Yesterday, we discussed the imbalance that’s emerged as men have struggled to elevate themselves, creating challenges for both men and women. Today, let’s explore what options remain for women: singlehood or shrinking themselves to fit.
I love it when men ask the question "What do women bring to the table?" Well, the table you are offering is from Ikea and we can certainly match that standard. Plus, women are higher educated than men so our question is "What do men bring to the conversation?
More and more women are having this conversation, choosing singlehood because men aren’t offering anything they don’t already have or can’t achieve independently. Some may argue that relationships are about love and partnership, which is true. However, the primary reason for relationships has traditionally been to raise children and build a family structure. Love and partnership, while important, are secondary to the biological drive to create a stable environment for kids. Without children in the picture and the ability to provide for ourselves the motivation to enter or stay in relationships diminishes significantly. The incentives just aren’t what they used to be.
Now, let's talk about what women want. These are my and my friends' points of view and you may have different ones.
Women generally don’t want partners who are less educated, earn less, lack ambition, or struggle or do worse than the women professionally. We’re not drawn to men who can’t protect or provide, who lack intellectual curiosity, social circles, physical activity, or emotional resilience. Men who constantly talk about their misfortunes, sit in therapy sessions to “work through their issues,” talk about their feelings and emotions or fall into a victim mentality aren’t appealing. Women don’t want men who lack conviction, moral principles, or the courage to stand for something. We don’t find it attractive when men are forced into submission by corporate pressures, saying or doing things they don’t truly believe in. Women aren’t drawn to men who can’t make decisions or take the lead, who cannot intellectually challenge them or those who walk around with the world's pain on their shoulders. Women don't want a man whom they need to carry on their shoulders. We don't find any of these attractive. Why do you think there is a massive decline in sexual activities?
Women like power! The power that comes from the differences between her and the man. Women want men they can look up to, learn from, and rely on, who provide safety and security. Men who are assertive but not aggressive. Women want men who don't break down at the first hurdle life throws at them ending up in the psychologist's office. We want strong men who carry on and find meaning in the struggles of providing and protecting their families or women instead of crumbling underneath them.
So what happens when women marry someone below her? I know, apparently, it is an awful thing to say but it is true. Women enter relationships that are below them or they outgrow them and they stay. For men it is the requirement to marry below them, that's the balance I explained yesterday. That is the natural order but for women, it can be detrimental!
I see women holding themselves back, shrinking to keep a sense of balance when their growth risks overshadowing a partner who isn’t keeping pace. We do this instinctively—it’s in our biological wiring to create stability for ourselves and our children. Biology, evolution, and male behaviour all play a role when women start excelling. We sense this deeply, so we adapt accordingly.
We adapt by turning down promotions to avoid making our husbands feel uncomfortable. I see so many women staying in relationships where their partners are the ones holding them back. I can’t help but think, “Girl, it’s not a vegan diet, retreats, wellness routines, yoga, or meditation that you need. You’re just distracting yourself from the truth—you’re with a man who can’t keep up. with the speed you want to go with.” What you need is a partner who matches your ambition and ability. Yet, this is what many women do—they keep busy with endless nonsensical activities or embark on a journey to "find themselves," when really, all they need to find is a man who challenges them and raises the bar.
You might say it’s gold-digging and selfish. Let me remind you that there is no gold to dig, and we’re bringing just as much to the Ikea table you provide. Secondly, I’m not talking about aiming for millionaires; I’m talking about finding someone who is a step above the woman—women are the baseline for men. So it will vary for each of us based on what we bring. Thirdly, and most importantly, if men want women to have children, that woman needs reassurance that her partner can provide, protect, and be reliable. That’s simple biology and evolution and has nothing to do with gold-digging.
Women are vulnerable and exposed to a man when they bring a child into this world. She might step away from employment for various reasons, and she must be certain that the man can provide an environment where she can focus on nurturing and raising their child. Women don’t want a man who will crumble under such responsibility, leaving her to support and carry him as well. In that case, she doesn’t need him; he’s just an extra burden she can do without. So no, my friend, when women tell you they want you to do better, it’s not about gold-digging or social climbing. It’s about simple biology, and failing to understand that could leave you both unhappy in the relationship or single.
Women want strong men who uplift them, not those who hold them back or, worse, bring them down. And if you find that offensive or surprised by... Well, that's probably because you are not capable of raising the bar for yourself as a man. And as a woman, you are probably in one of those relationships.
The current system of feminisation of men is not doing a favour to anybody but most importantly to men. No woman wants a feminine-crying yogi guru who talks about the benefits of a vegan diet, slow living, stress-free life, empathetic leadership, vulnerability and their emotions or mental health. Or a one that spends his life on the sofa watching telly or playing games. Yes, women will be there to support their men when support is needed but we want you to bounce back like a tennis ball and move us forward. Because if you cannot, we will be moving forward with or without you.
PS: Men also don't want this type of wife:-)))) Happy Sunday. This is just to cheer you up!
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