Behaviour Is Language

People's behaviour is language and you better learn to understand instead of wondering why things happen. People talk to us all day, every day and we are tone-deaf to it. Why? Because behaviours don't lie and we hate the truth! Truth is harsh but it is your friend. It is a friend that tells you what you need to know so you can progress. It is your choice to listen or stay in the dark.

The behaviour of people tells you that spoken words will not. We have taught people to "be nice" and sugarcoat things or to say absolutely nothing. But behaviour rarely lies especially in the long term. Here are the things it can tell you that words won't:

• The reason you are repeatedly overlooked for promotion is that they don't think, for whatever reason, that you are worthy of it. You are too fat, too ugly, too pretty, too smart, too competent, not so competent, too old, too young, too outspoken, too shy, don't fit the corporate picture of whatever, or just simply you are not as good as you think you are.

• Your partner is not spending enough time with you because he/she is just bored in your company or doesn't love you anymore.

• If you are a manager, leader, or an organisation and have high turnover it might be telling you that you need to look into the mirror because people don't like experiencing you.

• If people don't tell you the truth it is because they don't trust you or are scared of the consequences. The same applies in relationships and the motive behind not saying anything is often self-serving.

• People avoid you just ask why. There is a reason. Sometimes it is your body odour, the dandruff on your clothes, your weird jokes or you just simply don't fit in their world.

• If people don't invite you for a conference it could be because they are intimidated by you and not because they dislike you.

• When incompetent people are hired it might be because the boss' ego cannot handle competence and being challenged.

• When people stay quiet in meetings, during decision-making, or an argument it is because they don't agree with what is happening but they won't fight it. They checked out or don't think their effort will yield results. Silence is disagreement, remember that.

We see that everywhere every day. We see that with individuals and teams. We see that with corporate values and culture, policies and procedures. It is everywhere. But we chose to ignore them and say "Well nobody told me/us." Well, they did you just did not listen.

Behaviour is language and you better learn how to listen so you can move forward. Truth will always set you free but you must have the balls to face it.